6 Easy Steps To Sleep-training Your Baby

The Gentlest Method and it Works

Sleep training, gentle sleep training method, Andrea Bogue, through the night

6 Easy Steps to Sleep Through the Night. And, yes, you’ll love me for this one.

We had gone through rocking, patting, singing, walking, bouncing. We had swaddled and unswaddled. We had put her on her back, tummy, side. We had broken every rule regarding sleep known to man. It didn’t matter. Our baby was having none of it. She wasn’t sleeping more than 20 minutes at a stretch night or day, no matter what we did. As soon as she was put down, she yelled and howled like she was being torn limb from limb.

It was that night – henceforth known as Night of the Not-right-in-the-head Fitball Hypnosis Session (which, I might add, proved hubby was a rubbish hypnotist) that we caved. We surrendered. We realised that we didn’t know what we were doing when it came to getting Miss M to sleep. This baby had us under her teensy weeny thumb.

After finally getting her to sleep, two exhausted, deflated parents sat in front of the TV and were faced with an angel. Her name was Andrea Bogue and she was (cue chorus of heavenly singing) a Baby Whisperer. She was being interviewed on a current affairs show and explaining how she had the ability to get babies to sleep through the night. The holy grail. We were presented with beaming mothers and fathers holding happy babies and telling the host how they had their lives back. It was like being on a radical diet and being faced with a chocolate fountain and a pile of marshmallows. They had what we were being denied!

Then an amazing thing happened – Miss Bogue’s number was flashed on the screen. It was a local number. If you’ve experienced sleep-deprivation, you’ll understand that this was like flashing free tickets to Disneyworld during the school term in front of a classroom of children. Suffice to say, before Miss M woke up for the next session of psycho screaming and a delightful game of make-Mummy-cry-and-sing-lullabies-simultaneously, I had the number in my speed dial.

That weekend, our lives changed. Granted, it cost a small fortune (it was worth it and more) but the Baby Whisperer extraordinaire was true to her word. She spent a morning  teaching us (yes, it turned out it was our doing, not the evil-baby-bent-on-our-destruction) how we were going to get Miss M to go to sleep for her first nap of the day. By herself. No patting. No rocking. Definitely no hypnotising. That night, and every night since, Miss M hasgone to sleep at 7pm and stayed asleep until 7am.  Not kidding.

Because I don’t want you to go through the hell that is sleep-deprivation, I am going to share some tips. I am going to give you some nuggets of gold from the wisdom gleaned from this angel of a woman. Do you hear angels singing?

I want you to imagine two scenarios:

Scenario 1: Imagine you’re with someone you adore, having a lovely time. You’re warm and happy and you feel safe. Then that person takes you and puts you into a pit of vipers, looks at you with fear in her eyes, begs you to please not cry then walks out and expects you to relax and go to sleep. Ridiculous, right? Would you lie quietly and nod off to sleep or would you scream bloody murder until you were rescued? Well, duh.

Scenario 2: You fall asleep happily in the arms of your loved one and when you wake up, she has disappeared, you’re all alone and who-knows-what might happen to you and issheevercomingback? You’d scream like a banshee, right? I would.

The problems most parents have is the choice of what appear to be only two sleep-training options: Attachment Parenting or Ferberising their babies.

What if I told you there’s a third option? A sleep-training philosophy based on understanding your baby and communicating with her? A method that teaches your baby to sleep soundly, deeply and independently? There is. You can hug me later.

The basic premise is so simple, so common sense, so obvious. It’s a philosophy that’s shaped much of my parenting because it is all about communication. As parents, we are so scared of bedtime, we are so afraid of our babies screaming and waking up all night. So what do we do? We unknowingly transmit this fear to our babies. Our faces express our worry. Our myriad of crutches (patting, rocking…hypnotising) transmit the message that this is indeed a hard thing to do – so much so that all these things need to be in place before sleep can be achieved. We tiptoe out of their rooms when they finally fall asleep – reinforcing their fear that we can’t be trusted to be there when they wake up. Obviously, they are going to scream. How can we possibly expect them to relax in this kind of environment?

So, what do we do? 

1. Remove the fear.

This means telling yourself that bedtime is not scary, hard or terrible. You look forward to your sleep and so why shouldn’t your baby. If your face is full of fear, your baby will be scared. If you’re relaxed and happy, your baby will be too. Quite simple really.

2. Create a positive, flexible and simple bedtime routine.

We always bath our kids before bed, then read a story, have a cuddle and a song before bed. When they were babies, we would take them around the room and say “goodnight” to the animal pictures on the walls, the teddies and so on. This was a great part of the routine because it reinforces “goodnight” and it is portable – meaning, when you need to put your little one to sleep at grandma’s house, you can say goodnight to her things too. You’re not tied down to a specific room.

3. Show your baby that you aren’t stressed.

After the “goodnights”, I’d put the Miss M in her cot, smile and look her in the eyes (showing that I was happy and relaxed about this situation) and say “Night night! Good girl! I’ll be right back.” and walk out.

Of course, the first time I did this, Miss M went hooligan on me. It was her morning nap and she screamed like a lead soprano in the world’s loudest opera. Hubby and I stood outside her room with the Baby Whisperer and wanted to cry. She explained that we needed to teach Miss M that when she doesn’t cry, that’s when we come back, that being still and relaxed would bring us back. In essence, reward the behaviour we want to see. After a minute of two, when the crying started to wane, one of us would go back in, smile and say again “Good girl! You’re not crying! I’m coming back again.” And out we went. Amazingly, it took very little time for her to realise that being quiet and relaxed brought us back in. Not only did we come in without her having to yell for us, but we were smiling and not scared. Hmmmm – she started to realise that this sleeping this might not be so hard and scary after all.

Once she was quiet for an extended period of time, we started to whisper that OMIGOSH SHE IS QUIET! We were instructed not to whisper. Instead, we walked in and in happy, conversational voices we repeated the mantra that she was a good girl, not crying, going to sleep so nicely. To our complete shock, she was still awake. Just lying there, quietly. Our baby. She looked at us, smiled, closed her eyes and went to sleep. After a few minutes we went in again, found her asleep and again repeated the mantra. And again 3 minutes later. For the first time ever, Miss M napped for two straight hours. She woke up cooing, not crying. It was like we had a different child.

We repeated the process for her midday nap with faster results and by the first night, she was asleep in about 30 minutes. And she slept for 12 hours. 

4. It’s all about rewarding the behaviour we want to see.

As parents, we are hard-wired to rescue our children when they are crying. So, it’s only natural that we run in to their rooms when they cry at night. The difference between this and other situations is that our babies are not hurt or in danger. They are crying because they want us. By teaching them that we are going to be popping in to their room to check-in when they don’t cry, we eliminate that fear and we create a situation where they can relax and fall into a deep sleep, safe in the knowledge that they haven’t been abandoned. By showing them that bedtime is a happy, relaxing time of day, we create an environment that they want to be in. If we give them no reason to cry, they don’t cry. Simple, really.

So the basic philosophy is to do the opposite of classic controlled crying. Start by making it clear to your baby that sleep time is a lovely thing. Say goodnight with a smile and reassurance that you’ll be back. Be prepared for the yelling and screaming and wait for the cries to subside (no longer than a minute or two – in the beginning, you may need to grab the breathless moment between cries to illustrate what you want). As soon as there’s a break in the crying, go in and praise the good behaviour, tell her you’ll be back and then walk out. Even if your baby doesn’t understand your words, she will understand the tone. repeat this process and you’ll notice that your baby will begin to have longer non-crying periods. Praise each and every one.

5. Your baby is smarter than you think.

I can assure you, your baby can read your expresions. Show her that you’re relaxed and she will relax. Sow her that she doesn’t need to scream to have to you check-in on her and she will stop screaming. Check-in loudly and confidently, even once she’s asleep and she won’t feel the need to yell for you when she wakes in the night. If she falls asleep experiencing the comfort of you popping in and out, she will wake in the night, assume you’re coming soon, and go back to sleep. Obvious, right? Yeah, so obvious, I had to pay a Baby Whisperer to teach me…

6. It works on big kids too.

When it was time to move Miss M into her big girl bed, we panicked. How was this going to turn out? How would we get her to stay there? Again, we called on our sleep angel.

Turns out, the same philosophy applies to big kids. On the first night, we did her same routine, then stood in her room and said “I’m going out and when you’re on your bed, I’ll be back.” Giggles ensued and after a few seconds I returned and found her on the bed. Then. “Okay – I’m going out again and when you’re under the covers, I’ll be back for a story” Ahhh – it’s a cool game! More giggles, and when I walked back in, she was under her covers. I jumped in, read her a book and kissed her goodnight.” Then, “night night, Missy, when you have your head on the pillow I’ll be back with a giant Wiggly snuggle” (she was into the Wiggles, so this was the currency – it could just as easily be an Elmo tickle or a Little Mermaid kiss). More chuckling and a minute later, there she was with her head on the pillow. Last request, “when I your eyes are closed and you’re on your way to dreamland, I’ll be back with another Wiggly snuggle”. A few minutes later, she was asleep, smiling and dreaming of fruit salad, yummy yummy. It really was this easy. 

Why did this work? Because she was in control. I wasn’t saying “if you do this, you get…”, implying that I desperately wanted her to comply. I was saying “when you do this, the next fun thing is coming”, creating a situation where she was going to bed because she wanted to. No power struggle, just a fun and happy bedtime for all.

This has worked for all three of my children. It has worked for the countless friends I have helped through their children’s sleep issues. It’s a positive and non-stressful method to get babies and kids to sleep. Everyone wins because well-rested mummies are less prone to hysterical meltdowns (in the middle of the supermarket, a story for another day) and well-rested babies are happier, more switched on to learning and developing. They are also calmer babies because their mums aren’t falling to pieces.

I am no baby sleep expert. I’m just a mum who knows what sleep-deprivation feels like and has seen the light at the end of the tunnel. Can you see it? I promise, it’s there.

Sweet dreams!

PIN FOR LATER:

6 steps to sleep-training your baby

Disclaimer: This is in no way medical or professional advice. Please feel free to contact Andrea Bogue, my Baby Whisperer for personalised advice on  +61 411 130 498 (Australia). This post represents Michelle Lewsen’s personal opinion and experience based on her own children and was not paid for or sponsored in any way.

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67 comments
Jen
Jen

Hi I have two questions: 1) Does Andrea Bogue have an email address? I'm in the states but would be interested in contacting her. 2) Do you know what the approach would be for 2 issues: A) My daughter is juuuust 6 mos, but has a only partially resolved medical issue (food sensitivities) that the doctor has said just isn't going to get any better. She wakes 5-6 times per night (but only 1 feeding), and it isn't clear if she just needs to get better at self soothing, or if her tummy is bothering her enough to wake her up. She's pretty happy during the day. B) Pacifier "hell" - i.e. she has become reliant upon a pacifier to soothe herself to sleep whenever she surfaces at night or during naps. Meaning, she needs me to put it back in for her :( We've tackled most of her other sleep crutches successfully (she's no longer held, nursed, or touched to go to sleep), but I'm dreading getting rid of the pacifier and not sure if she'll be able to settle back to sleep easily without it.

Erin
Erin

Hi there, I was just wondering...you mentioned you have 3 children...my 3rd is 8 months and has begun to wake a couple of times a night (after having slept through previously) and won't settle until he has had a bottle (and now that he is sitting/crawling, he refuses to lie down and be soothed to sleep). The problem is, he shares a room with his 3 year old brother, so while with my other children I could allow a bit of crying and self soothing, I'm really wary of him disturbing his brothers sleep. Did your children ever have to share a room? Do you have any advice how to deal with this? Thanks for any suggestions you are able to give xoxo

Nadia
Nadia

How do you respond when Baby wakes up in the middle of the night?

Nadia
Nadia

I'm going to try this tonight! This is the type of info I've been looking for. I want to exhaust options before I fully do cry-it-out. Thank you thank you thank you for sharing your information!

dure
dure

Great post. Will surely try it. Can you tell me where abouts in Australia is Andrea Bogue ??

Elena
Elena

Very interested in this! Do you know what age is a good time to begin ?

Kat
Kat

Thank you for this blog post. I have a 6 month old and haven't slept more than an hour and a half since he was born. Needless to say, I am VERY excited to try this method. I would however love to talk with Andrea. I live in the states though. Do you think she would do email consultations?

Ria
Ria

Hi. I'm trying your method with my 9 month old. What if she cries so hard and gags herself until she throws up? I've been going in to clean up the vomit, but I feel like she's doing it just to get me to go in but I shouldn't let her roll around in her vomit.

Sarah
Sarah

So I've been going in and out of my sons room for an hour and a half and the longest we've gone without crying is 20 seconds. We've got 11 months of conditioning to undo, so im not expecting miracles here, but how long should I expect it to take? Is there a point when it's time to stop for the night and just nurse him to sleep?

Anna
Anna

What do you do if your. LO stops crying, so you go in to praise him, but as soon as he sees your (happy) face he starts screaming again? Do you still praise him for the brief quiet moment while he's crying?

Jocelyn
Jocelyn

Thank you, Thank you, Thank you!!!!! I can't thank you enough for making this post. I'm so glad I found it. I was really struggling with finding a good way to help my 6 month old learn to sleep on his own, but I didn't want to do the old 'cry it out' method. This worked so well and on day 3 (tonight) he fell asleep on his own with no crying in about 10 minutes!! I'm sharing this with everyone I know that has babies.

Jade
Jade

Follow on from my post. Yes this method works! I've kept at it and she has been napping for 2 days, they have only been 45mins long but it's amazing for my LO as she never napped! Thankyou thankyou!

Jade
Jade

My 5.5month old refuses to nap. Maybe she will in the car or I have rocked her to sleep a few times when she hasn't fought me on the idea. I try 3 times a day to get her to nap, when I see the tired cues. Yet she doesn't sleep. I've started the method above today. Still no naps, she was calm in bed for 30mins each attempt- I checked in her every 5mins to praise, then she would cry the next 30mins. I would go into the room in between crying breaths. I know that teaching a baby to sleep will take time. How long do you recommend I try this? I'm very keen to keep trying, there has to be a way ahead. My LO usually sleeps from 6.30pm, feed at 9 then hopefully managed to get back to sleep by 11pm then usually sleeps till 6am. There had been some crazy nights of no sleep, but usually ok. It's just the day naps that are an issue.

Kelly
Kelly

Thank you for this! We have been struggling with sleep training and we tried your method tonight and it worked like a charm. I got him calmed down in his bed and told him I'd be back in a few minutes and then he put himself to sleep! Anxious to see how the rest of the night goes! Thanks again.

Patricia
Patricia

Am so happy and excited to have come across your blog. After 9 months of no sleep and having tried everything else, reading this has given me hope. I realized that my son probably just needed some encouragement and positivity to stay asleep. I am against the CIO method and would rather have another year of sleepless nights rather than let him cry it out. I still cosleep with my son, and am just wondering if this method can be implemented somehow be adjusted to work for us? I have to say, I just tried the positive reinforcement tactic and lay down beside him to sleep for the night without patting/shooshing/nursing and he somehow miraculously decided he was sleepy after about 20 mins of lying down beside me and talking and just closed his eyes. Which he's never, ever done when I've put him to sleep 4 times a day for 9 months now! I believe this method WILL work, I am just hoping for tips for a cosleeping parent? Thank you so much, am forever grateful!!!!

Kami
Kami

Hi! I've been using this technique for naps today. So far, this has been wonderful! Usually naps are a headache but this feels like such a loving and easy way to help him nap. I'm booking marking this and will be sharing with my mommy friends. Thanks so much for posting this! I'm hoping I continue to have this kind of success.

Ericka
Ericka

This made me so encouraged & excited for bedtime! My babygirl is 5 months old. I've tried everything. & being a single mom, I am exhausted & at the end of my rope. I just started letting her always sleep when I was ready & in my bed because it wasn't worth the fight. I'm trying this method for the first time tonight. & she's been screaming for 40 minutes. :( I try to reward her between breaths or when she stops for a minute. But when she sees me, she screams. Any advice?

catherine bevilacqua
catherine bevilacqua

Hi there, I just started bdoing this today with my DD. She will only go to sleep with boob. I was doing the PU?PD method and it worked at frist but then regression happened. So far it has worked after 15-20 minutes. I went in after she turned over and went to sleep. I said the mantra and she turned, wept for a second, turned back, and went to sleep. I went in again a few minutes later and said it again in a lower voice but not a whisper. HSe didn't respond that time and continued sleeping. My questions are; 1. My DD never naps longer then 45 minutes. I'd like her to consolidate to three naps of 90 mins, 90 mins, and 30-45 mins. If she wakes at the 45 min mark crying, should I do the method over again till she falls back to sleep? 2. My DD sleeps 11-12 hours at night but does cry to eat (in her sleep), then I feed her (in her sleep), and put her back down without an issue. Should I not be feeding her anymore? She will really only nurse when sleepy or asleep. :/

Karen
Karen

What do you do if your child gets MORE upset when you come in to check on them? And should you touch them when you go in and repeat the manta? My little guy is 7 months and he just seems to get more upset when we go into the room repeat the mantra and leave. He's never slept through the night and we are constantly getting up in the night to settle hi,, I'm exhausted and beyond frustrated!

Hollie
Hollie

I'm at the end of my rope with my 6 month old son. He's an awful sleeper. I'm sleep deprived and crying daily. I'm so anxiety ridden at night I'm nauseous waiting for his next wake up. I need a plan of attack. How many nights did this take? My son was recently sick (double ear infection and respirory infection) and since his sickness he's been waking multiple times in the middle of the night, sometimes for close to 1 1/2 hrs awake. Does this work for tempormental children? I'm against CIO but feel this is my only hope.

Cibele
Cibele

Hi! I´m Cibele and I´m from Brazil. First of all, sorry for my terrible english. I have an 8 month baby named Helena. She is an angel, but she wants to breastfeed several times every night. And if I try to not feed her, oh-my-good-God! What can I do? Please help me!! Do you know anyone in Brazil, that can do the same work that amazing Andrea Bogue did with you? I really need some help! Thank´s for your attention... Cibele

Michele
Michele

I hope you are still reading comments! I live in the states and have never heard of this method, want to give it a go with my 13 month old. Do I do the pop in and actually wake him up to reassure him? And do the same throughout the night?

gloria
gloria

thank you for sharing, I implemented everything you said and it worked, I think it only worked as I had spent a day at a sleep clinic a few months ago, they taught me to recognise my bub screaming at me versus her crying...once I knew the difference it was much easier to let her "scream" at me before going in and consoling her.i never timed it, i just went in and rewarded her when she stopped screaming....its day 2 now and we are all happier. Bub is not only sleeping but eating better too and is happier......so thank you for this gift.

Kelly Baldwin
Kelly Baldwin

Hello, I LOVE THE IDEA FOR THIS SLEEPING METHOD BUT I THINK I AM DOING IT WRONG. I HAVE A FEW QUESTIONS: 1. WHEN I GO IN DO I SAY AT THE DOOR OR DO I GO TO HER AND TOUCH HER 2. HOW LONG DO I WAIT UNTIL I GO IN A FEW SECONDS OR MINS. 3. EVERYTIME I LEFTED SHE WOULD SCREAM AND CRY EVEN HARDER WHAT CAN I DO? SHE NEVER CALMED DOWN EVERYTIME I LEFT THE CRYING WOULD START AGAIN SO SHE CRIED HERSELF ASLEEP DO I STILL SAY IT WHEN SHE IS ASLEEP? I DID TRY IT FOR HER.MORNING NAP I HOPE YOU STILL GET ON. MY SIX MONTH OLD IS A HORRIBLE SLEEPER SHE HATES NAPS AND SLEEPING AT TIME PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE HELP ME

Holly
Holly

Hello I love this idea and will be trying, if they wake crying in the morning but the fine is ok so say 6.30 do you try to wake for a break then or just go in and say good morning? I am hoping the night waking may stop once they feel secure!! Also do you keep going in and saying back soon every few minutes until there asleep? Thank you very much for sharing

Nicole Weeks
Nicole Weeks

Thanks for the post. I'm interested in a couple of things. For context my baby is 7 months old. I tried this for about 30 minutes. Firstly - do you not find that coming in and out distracts and wakes them when they're beginning to fall asleep? In my short attempt I found he'd be singing himself to sleep. I'd walk in, then when I walk out he'd scream again. Secondly - I want my baby to know I'm around, but will come when he needs me - I pressume they still cry out for real needs. Pain etc. Thanks again.

Jessica R
Jessica R

I am going to try this starting tomorrow. 8 months of next to no sleep is taking it's toll! My 8 month old went through a week of only waking once which was great but the last month has been waking up to 5 times a night. i really need some sleep!!

Tiffany
Tiffany

Im currently cosleeping with my son who turned 2 months today. Do you think this would work with a baby so young? I'm not quite ready to transition him out of our bed but maybe soon. Or maybe start with daytime naps? And just so I get the gist of this, you put them in the crib happily, kiss them, walk out. When they stop crying go back in and do the same routine until they fall asleep? Then just let them sleep? What about when they wake up from the nap and cry?

Theycallmemummy
Theycallmemummy

Hi Jen, I feel for you1 I was there, in that same pacifier-jail boat as you and Andrea fixed it all. I don't have her email address but I know you can contact her via telephone and book in a Skype session. Good luck!

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WordPress.com Support

Hi Erin, thanks for commenting here. I never had children sharing a room but we did have issues over holidays away where we had to settle kids sharing rooms and we found that, as long as we let the other child know what we were doing, the other child (mostly) just rolled over and slept through it all. So, my advice would be to continue as you would if your 8 month old was in his own room. The disruption shouldn't be for more than a couple of nights and it will be worth it because he will learn that he can't manipulate the situation based on circumstance. If you still need help, I strongly recommend contacting Andrea Bogue (number in the blog post) and arrange a telephone or skype consult. She is a miracle worker. Wishing you success, peace and lots of sleep!

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WordPress.com Support

Exactly the same response as when you re-enter after putting baby to bed. Upbeat, calm, "hello baby! I see you're up. It's still sleep time so go back to sleep and mum will be back to visit in a minute. Night night!" Then smile and walk out and continue as you did at bedtime. I promise it works! Good luck :)

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WordPress.com Support

Only start after the age of 6 months. Before then, baby isn't developmentally capable of learning what needs to be learned here. Wishing you luck!

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WordPress.com Support

Ria, I am no sleep expert and have to admit that I have no idea what my Baby Whisperer would advise. I would hate for your baby to be so traumatised that she is vomiting as this is supposed to be a gentle and positive experience for her. I strongly advise you to contact Andrea Bogue (her number is in the post) for advice. Wishing you luck and sending you love.

Theycallmemummy
Theycallmemummy

You smile reassuringly and happily and say "mummy is coming back, good boy going to sleep so beautifully" and walk out again. You let him know that you are not afraid for him so he shouldn't be either. Then you keep going. Soon enough, he will realise that you are continuously coming in to check in in him and he doesn't need to call out for you. At this point, he will stop crying because he will be confident that he is not alone and that you will be repeatedly checking in. This will give him the sense of confidence and security he needs to relax and fall asleep. Best of luck!

mummymishy
mummymishy

Thank you for taking the time to comment - this has made my day.

mummymishy
mummymishy

Kelly, I am so thrilled to read this! Just keep on going the same way and you're set for success. Thank you for taking the time to comment.

mummymishy
mummymishy

Thank you for sharing that, Kami. When we learned this method I HAD to share it because it is such a compassionate, beautiful way to teach our precious babies to sleep independently and deeply.

mummymishy
mummymishy

Just keep going, mama. Give her calm and happy vibes and lots of upbeat encouragement when you go in. Fingers crossed!

mummymishy
mummymishy

Hi Karen, thanks for writing in. I found that, in the beginning, she would seem distressed but she was in fact voicing her anger that we weren't patting/singing/hypnotising.. You get it. I would continue to keep going in, smiling and happy and reassuring. Find the spaces between the angry cry and praise him for being such a good boy. He will read your body language and see you're calm and unworried and he will follow suit. Then follow the pattern. He'll get it. Right now. I'd say he's protesting the change and letting you know he'd prefer your old way. That's okay! You just have to let him know that this is the new way and that it's wonderful! Wishing you luck! If you have any more problems, you should consider a telephone consult with Andrea (her number is at the end of the post) Take care!

Sarah
Sarah

It doesn't sound to me like you wake LO up, per se, but rather you go back in as they're falling asleep, tell them how good they are, then leave. I would think that once as they're falling asleep and once after sleep has set in would be good. But then again I'm just another sleep deprived mommy in the states. :-) Good luck.

mummymishy
mummymishy

Hi Tiffany, I definitely wouldn't try this method with a baby under 6 months at the youngest. You can, however, start using the basic philosophy if creating a bedtime routine, special song, etc. in the meantime, enjoy the co-sleeping and the special closeness it gives you :)

Jen
Jen

Thanks I may try skyping her. What did you do for the pacifier? Cold turkey? Teach her to put it back in herself? We're trying Pantley's pull-off method right now, with a little progress but not much.

Erin
Erin

Many thanks! I will persevere! :)

Nadia
Nadia

Thanks. So last night tried it and she went to sleep after a half hour but then she woke up in the middle of the night. I was up for two hours going in and out praising when she was calm and quiet. She did finally fall asleep with very little crying. Is there a limit of how often you should go in? Like if baby is still awake after 30 minutes, do you just stop going in? Also tried it for a nap right now. It went horribly bad. She was calm for about 20 minutes then became hysterical... Coughing, sobbing, and having a hard time catching her breath. She cried even more with each time I walked out. Then picked her up twice because she wasn't even calming down with me patting her. Then I tried putting her back in the crib and before I could she started going hysterical again! Felt so bad and frustrated. Eventually gave in and laid her on the floor with me and patted and she fell asleep. Poor girl was breathing heavy and hair was soaked from sweating. I moved her into the crib once she fell asleep. I know I shouldn't of given in but not sure how I was supposed to handle that. Would love your thoughts. Thanks!!

Ria Pullin
Ria Pullin

I was worried before but after a bit she calmed down once I calmed down. I just did the same technique for her second nap and she didn't cry as hard. It only took 15 minutes and she's fast asleep and I went in and praised her during her quiet moments. Sorry, momentary panic and hopefully that was the last time she gets that upset. It took 45 mins total to get her down the first nap and she slept for 93 minutes and it only took 15 minutes this time. Thank you for responding so quickly and I'm so hopeful this will be a permanent solution for us!

Luise
Luise

Hi :) this all Sound really good. How old was your baby when you started doing this. We have a seven week old - is he too Young for this you Think?

Tiffany
Tiffany

Thanks. I love it. My husband (who now sleeps in the spare room) thinks its bad. It's looked down upon in the US. But I sleep better and so does my son. I'm not looking forward to sleeping without him but I'm definitely looking forward for cuddling with my husband again.

WordPress.com Support
WordPress.com Support

You know, I'm not a baby sleep expert and I don't know what Andrea Bogue's advice would be (I recommend calling her, 100% worth your while) but my gut says that you did the right thing. Here's why: I think that sometimes out little ones are too tired for a "lesson" and it's wise to call it quits and start again the next day. Your mama-sense told you that. I'll bet anything that when you put her to bed tomorrow, she'll respond beautifully to her sleep training, being tested and ready to learn. I wish you only the best and I hope you experience success with this. Sleep is underrated!

WordPress.com Support
WordPress.com Support

Oh, I am so happy to hear that. Wishing you many nights of peaceful and happy sleep!

mummymishy
mummymishy

Hi luise, I definitely would not recommend this with a 7 week old baby. This method is only going to work with a baby older than six months. Wishing you lots of luck. On the mean time, enjoy cuddling and bonding with your precious baby.

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