Rude words and why Baby G thinks we can’t say them at school. Last week, my big kids each had a friend over to play. Baby G was feeling left out because the big girls wanted alone time sans little sister, so I suggested she go play with the boys, who are good-natured and would… Read More
Dora the Explorer (who is only in the forest because nobody in the city will play with her.)
Have you been reading Baking in a Tornado? You should be (but I warn you, don’t read when hungry…) Well, Karen from Baking in a Tornado, hosts Secret Subject Swaps and today I’m crazy excited to be taking part in Take One of May’s Secret Subject Swaps. My subject (“If I could make any kiddie show… Read More
Singing the Separation Anxiety blues.
Despite her admirably brave attempt at stoicism at Kindy drop-off this morning, when it came to goodbye time, Baby G crumbled. With downturned eyes squirting tears like lawn sprinklers and a Lucille Ball-esque wide open mouth emitting air raid siren-like howls, my daughter cried so forlornly I thought – for sure – my heart would… Read More
The bedtime prank.
Every night, Darren sneaks into Miss M’s bedroom while she’s reading (she gets so completely absorbed in books that she becomes oblivious to her surroundings) and gives her a fright. Every night. Tonight, I sneaked in before he got there and hid behind her curtain and told her that when he comes to… Read More
There is no “ME” in MUMMY.
You know that cute little paragraph we all read from time to time on Facebook about how being a mother is a twenty four hour a day job, seven days a week? How we get no benefits? How our bosses don’t pay us a salary or give us sick days? How we have to be… Read More
The Not Very Nice Day.
After waking up from a horrible nightmare and simultaneously realising I had overslept, I woke up my three sleeping children (because they only wake up at Sparrow’s Fart on weekends, of course) and BEGGED them to PLEASE get ready as quickly as possible so we wouldn’t be late for school. Miss M dawdled and danced… Read More
How my family destroyed a train.
Before I begin to tell you this story, I need to first stand up and say two things: One: The previous post on flying with children was horribly misleading. Why, you ask? I’ll tell you why: that aeroplane trip was easypeasylemonsqueezy and as pleasurable as an all expenses paid spa weekend in comparison with what… Read More
In-flight entertainment.
As I write this, I’m looking down at puffy clouds from an altitude of 12,192m. I’m sipping on a chardonnay, flicking through a magazine and revelling in the deep sense of relaxation this travel experience brings. Oh, who am I kidding. I have a four year old beside me. This is how this flight has… Read More
Kid-versations
Living with my kids is like house-sharing with a comedy trio. The conversations in my house make me routinely shoot coffee out of my nose. I’m pretty sure their comic dialogue is some kind of evolutionary survival instinct thing…it certainly saves our sanity on those “Mama is losing her mind” days. (Let’s be honest –… Read More
How Not To Teach Your Child To Ride A Bike
"Teach him to ride a bike", they said. "It will be fun", they said.
After a childhood spent watching “The Wonder Years” and “The Cosby Show”, I naively looked forward to the day that I would teach my child to ride a bicycle. I could picture it so clearly: The sun would be shining, the grass would be the perfect green to compliment the azure blue of the sky,… Read More