BUY THIS BOOK. Really. I mean it.
The Masturbation Conversation
Masturbation. This word strikes fear in the heart of most parents. It’s the kryptonite of the parenting fraternity. When most parents look at their children, the last thing they want to think about is that they – gulp – masturbate. Because there seem to be such taboos connected with this topic, many parents are unaware… Read More
What I’ve Learned… (A Roundup)
Today I want to share with you my last two weeks’ weekly columns at BonBon Break Magazine. In a series called, “What I’ve Learned…”, I explore the little lessons motherhood throws at me each week. I hope you’ll enjoy them! Two weeks ago, I wrote about how we speak to our kids using accidental… Read More
The Naughty Spot
Today’s post is the first in a weekly column I’ll be writing at BonBon Break Magazine called, “What I’ve Learned…” I hope you’ll enjoy this hilarious story featuring Little Man, the Terrible Threes and the infamous Naughty Spot. You will laugh and hopefully learn from mine and Darren’s misfortunes… To read this post, visit BonBon Break… Read More
A Thank You Letter to my daughter’s Kindergarten Teacher.
To my daughter’s Kindy teacher, How do I begin to thank you for what you’ve done for Baby G this year? You welcomed my little girl into your classroom in the beginning of the year with your arms wide open. No booboo wasn’t worth a cuddle and a band-aid and, likewise, no achievement… Read More
You are a shit-head.
“Daniel called me an S-WORD HEAD!” (She actually said “S-word” head because she could NOT bring herself to say, ‘shit’.) Miss M was six years old. She came running to me after school, upset because someone had used *gasp* the S-word. She was horrified and devastated that a child could use THAT word. It was… Read More
Oh, my nuts!
Rude words and why Baby G thinks we can’t say them at school. Last week, my big kids each had a friend over to play. Baby G was feeling left out because the big girls wanted alone time sans little sister, so I suggested she go play with the boys, who are good-natured and would… Read More
Singing the Separation Anxiety blues.
Despite her admirably brave attempt at stoicism at Kindy drop-off this morning, when it came to goodbye time, Baby G crumbled. With downturned eyes squirting tears like lawn sprinklers and a Lucille Ball-esque wide open mouth emitting air raid siren-like howls, my daughter cried so forlornly I thought – for sure – my heart would… Read More
In-flight entertainment.
As I write this, I’m looking down at puffy clouds from an altitude of 12,192m. I’m sipping on a chardonnay, flicking through a magazine and revelling in the deep sense of relaxation this travel experience brings. Oh, who am I kidding. I have a four year old beside me. This is how this flight has… Read More
Kid-versations
Living with my kids is like house-sharing with a comedy trio. The conversations in my house make me routinely shoot coffee out of my nose. I’m pretty sure their comic dialogue is some kind of evolutionary survival instinct thing…it certainly saves our sanity on those “Mama is losing her mind” days. (Let’s be honest –… Read More
The Wiggles made me cry.
Yesterday morning we took Baby G to a Wiggles concert. She was so excited, she could hardly contain herself. The night before, she hand-made roses for Dorothy the Dinosaur out of patty-pans, pipe cleaners and play-doh and then she sang her little heart out in bed until she fell asleep, so huge was her anticipation…. Read More
Look at that FAT lady!
This week, I was in a supermarket with Baby G and she innocently pointed (index finger and all) and loudly exclaimed, “Look at that fat lady!”
Mum vs Wild (The Suburban Edition)
My kids love Man vs Wild. It’s a documentary where Bear Grylls (a super-human, uber-tough, attractively-British navy seal) gets dropped alone in a variety of scary locations around the world. His mission: to survive, get through the night, forage for food, make shelter and climb/trek/bungee-jump (using a home-made bungee created entirely out of banana leaves… Read More
The day I became The Dummy Fairy.
I told my child a lie. A big bald-faced whopper. I had to. Here it is: