The Masturbation Conversation

The masturbation discussion came sooner than I expected. A hilarious story at They Call Me Mummy

Masturbation. This word strikes fear in the heart of most parents. It’s the kryptonite of the parenting fraternity. When most parents look at their children, the last thing they want to think about is that they – gulp – masturbate. Because there seem to be such taboos connected with this topic, many parents are unaware… Read More

What I’ve Learned… (A Roundup)

Kids take us literally

        Today I want to share with you my last two weeks’ weekly columns at BonBon Break Magazine. In a series called, “What I’ve Learned…”, I explore the little lessons motherhood throws at me each week. I hope you’ll enjoy them! Two weeks ago, I wrote about how we speak to our kids using accidental… Read More

The Naughty Spot

The-Naughty-Spot

Today’s post is the first in a weekly column I’ll be writing at BonBon Break Magazine called, “What I’ve Learned…” I hope you’ll enjoy this hilarious story featuring Little Man, the Terrible Threes and the infamous Naughty Spot. You will laugh and hopefully learn from mine and Darren’s misfortunes… To read this post, visit BonBon Break… Read More

A Thank You Letter to my daughter’s Kindergarten Teacher.

Thank You Letter Kindergarten Teacher

To my daughter’s Kindy teacher,   How do I begin to thank you for what you’ve done for Baby G this year?    You welcomed my little girl into your classroom in the beginning of the year with your arms wide open. No booboo wasn’t worth a cuddle and a band-aid and, likewise, no achievement… Read More

You are a shit-head.

“Daniel called me an S-WORD HEAD!” (She actually said “S-word” head because she could NOT bring herself to say, ‘shit’.) Miss M was six years old. She came running to me after school, upset because someone had used *gasp* the S-word. She was horrified and devastated that a child could use THAT word. It was… Read More

Singing the Separation Anxiety blues.

rp_lucille.jpg

Despite her admirably brave attempt at stoicism at Kindy drop-off this morning, when it came to goodbye time, Baby G crumbled. With downturned eyes squirting tears like lawn sprinklers and a Lucille Ball-esque wide open mouth emitting air raid siren-like howls, my daughter cried so forlornly I thought – for sure – my heart would… Read More

In-flight entertainment.

As I write this, I’m looking down at puffy clouds from an altitude of 12,192m. I’m sipping on a chardonnay, flicking through a magazine and revelling in the deep sense of relaxation this travel experience brings. Oh, who am I kidding. I have a four year old beside me. This is how this flight has… Read More

Kid-versations

The funny things my kids say... #kidversations #carversations

Living with my kids is like house-sharing with a comedy trio. The conversations in my house make me routinely shoot coffee out of my nose. I’m pretty sure their comic dialogue is some kind of evolutionary survival instinct thing…it certainly saves our sanity on those “Mama is losing her mind” days. (Let’s be honest –… Read More

The Wiggles made me cry.

The-Wiggles

Yesterday morning we took Baby G to a Wiggles concert. She was so excited, she could hardly contain herself. The night before, she hand-made roses for Dorothy the Dinosaur out of patty-pans, pipe cleaners and play-doh and then she sang her little heart out in bed until she fell asleep, so huge was her anticipation…. Read More

Mum vs Wild (The Suburban Edition)

You've got to give the man credit. He will feast on anything...

My kids love Man vs Wild. It’s a documentary where Bear Grylls (a super-human, uber-tough, attractively-British navy seal) gets dropped alone in a variety of scary locations around the world. His mission: to survive, get through the night, forage for food, make shelter and climb/trek/bungee-jump (using a home-made bungee created entirely out of banana leaves… Read More