“Mama, I wish I had long, straight yellow hair and blue eyes.”
That one sentence halted my world, Matrix like. In the microseconds that followed, I was forced to swallow the bitter pill that was her first yearning to be something other than herself. That one sentence had the potential to become the first brick in the foundation of the hateful self-doubt jail that so many of us women have built and locked ourselves in. That one sentence needed to be faced, head on.
I responded, faking nonchalance, “Tell me, why do you want long, straight, yellow hair and blue eyes?”
She replied (somewhat condescendingly), “Because EVERYONE knows that yellow hair and blue eyes are the prettiest kind.”
As I mentally beat Barbie to smithereens with a meat mallet and cursed Disney for Cinderella and Rapunzel, I dug deep for the right words to say to her.
I continued detangling her delicious ringlets as I enquired, “Can I ask you a question?” She nodded, as I continued, “Who do you think is the prettiest lady in the world?”
Crossing fingers and toes and praying to whoever might be up there listening, I waited.
Grinning, she exclaimed, “YOU are, Mummy!”
Exhaling, I grinned and pulled her on to my lap. “Well, Baby G,” I said, “do you know what makes me very very happy?”
Curiously, she asked, “What?”
I answered, “When I look in the mirror every day, I see my brown eyes and brown hair and I give myself the biggest smile, because they are the exact same colour as yours. I feel so happy because that must mean that I am beautiful, just like you!”
She gasped.
She looked at me again, this time much more closely, then she jumped up and grabbed the hand mirror. Looking from my face to her own, holding a strand of her hair against mine, she inhaled sharply and her eyes filled with wonder.
She put down the mirror and purposefully took my face in her two soft little baby-like hands and then she uttered words that will forever be diamonds in my memory bank.
With awe, she declared, “Mummy, we’ve got the same beautiful!”
It’s these little moments that matter. Thanks so much for turning that around and making her feel beautiful. Just to defend Rapunzel though, she has green eyes. 😉
Consider Rapunzel defended!
I’m gobsmacked. You handled that beautifully to say the least. Amazing. And for the record, as a blond haired, green eyed girl, I’ve always wanted dark hair. Curly even.
The grass is always greener somewhere else! Thanks, Frugie!
Ps – you’ve made me proud with your use of the word, gobsmacked. I may even award you honorary citizenship of all England’s colonies.
Beautiful story. Thanks for sharing . I will definetly keep this in my pocket if my daughter ever says this .
Thank you
That is soo sweet! Go you! Feel free to still have a go at Barbie. It feels good.
*grabs mallet and grins wickedly*
Brunette and brown eyes are beautiful!!! When combined with an agile brain and warm heart, this makes you irresistible. Love Dad
Sent from my iPhone
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And this is why you’re the best dad on the planet.
Awwww!
I must have done a great job brainwashing my daughter from the get-go (we of dark brown and brown) because she’s never dreamed of being blonde and blue and Mulan was always her favourite cartoon heroine! 😉 (With apologies to all those blonde-haired, blue-eyed ladies out there – you have feelings too and it can’t be very nice being the butt of all those dumb blonde jokes.)
Mari, you are my role model when it comes to role modelling for our kids. Your own love of life and love for yourself and your incredibly strong and positive expression of that is why your kids are so amazing. They learn from what you do, regardless of your words (which, I have no doubt, are eloquent and spot on).
Awww again! Thank you my darling :* And you do a mighty fine job yourself
I love this! “Mummy we have the same kind of beautiful!” Those right there are some of the most beautiful words on the planet.
They are, aren’t they! Incredible.
I remember when my then 8 year old daughter, with her dark brown eyes, brown hair and olive skin, discovered Jasmine of “Alladin” fame. She was so thrilled to find a princess who looked like her. At 27, she still remembers the thrill of that discovery.
I gotta say, Disney and Pixar and crew ARE doing a good job when it comes to diversifying their female characters. But still – we all want what we don’t have…
Sweetest thing. Ever.
there’s nothing more beautiful than moments like this.
Yep – makes all the crazy stuff worth it.
I love your response. You think well on your feet, ma’am. “We’ve got the same beautiful” is just, well, beautiful. : )
Aw, shucks… Thanks, my friend!
i love u mommy misty to love ur child like love of an angel.
Your story brought tears to my eyes. What a wonderful way to help your daughter recognize her own unique beauty.
Thank you so much
Thank you!
Oh my! This little conversation with your girl makes my morning and also makes you my hero for today! I know this is an older post, I’m coming in from Hump Day but this is just beautiful! I have an eleven year old daughter and I am constantly on high alert for signs she needs some positive reinforcement. Hard times, these pre-teen years. Good for you for starting early and keep up the great work!
Thank you! This pre-adolescence is a tough time, I agree. We can only hope that our love is enough.
Oh, I absolutely love it. Such a beautiful moment–you did a wonderful job turning that around. This brown-eyed, brown-haired mom with a brown-eyed, brown-haired daughter just got big tears in her eyes.
Awww. so sweet! Thanks for hooking up to the Hump Day Hook Up