Every fortnight, I donate blood plasma. I’ve been doing it for approximately two years now and I’d like to tell you why.
When I sit in that chair, with a needle in my arm, I’m not donating just blood. I’m donating memories.
Four years ago, my father-in-law was diagnosed with Cancer. In the time he was sick, he had to have countless blood transfusions. These transfusions gave him back to us, time and again. Together with Chemotherapy, Radiation and all the other treatments that come with Cancer, these blood transfusions extended his time with us and for that I will always be grateful. I wish I could track down and hug the people who took the time and effort to donate blood – their momentary discomfort gave us a priceless gift.
I donate blood because, without it, my Baby G would not have known her Bumpa. She would not have memories of him playing the clown at the dinner table. She would not have memories of the deep discussions they had and how he listened intently to all she had to say. She wouldn’t still talk about him cuddling her at bedtime and telling her special stories. She would have missed out on this:
Unconditional love.
I donate blood because, without it, my Little Man got to have three and a half years of gut-splitting laughter. He got to watch, in disbelief, as his Bumpa, did crazy things only to make him laugh. He got to learn that laughter fixes everything and is worth seeking actively and passionately. Without those blood donors, Little Man would have missed this:
Anything to get his grandchildren to laugh.
I donate blood because Miss M was given three extra years of feeling like the centre of the Universe. Her Bumpa had the gift of making every child he was with feel like the most important child in the world. Miss M confided in her Bumpa when she felt sad, scared, happy, excited, nervous. He was her friend. Without those blood donors, Miss M would have lost out on three and a half years of experiencing true friendship and unconditional love. Without those blood donors, Miss M would have missed this:
He was her confidante.
I donate blood because it gave us the gift of extra time with our amazing father and grandfather. It gave me time to tell him how much I loved him. It gave me time to thank him for the gift of his son, my husband. It gave me time to watch my children experience the all-encompassing love and endless laughter he dished out generously and continuously. It gave our children time to know him and to love him. It gave the world extra sunshine, even through the dark, heavy Cancer cloud.
My father-in-law donated anonymously to many charities all his life. Through him, countless needy children got Christmas presents. Through his generosity, many handicapped children were given wheelchairs, computers, games. His last charitable donation (made while he was debilitatingly sick, in the last months of his life) was gaming consoles, computers and entertainment stations for the Children’s Hospital. My father-in-law was all about giving. He never asked for acknowledgement. In fact, we never knew about his charitable work until after he was gone. He never attached strings to anything he gave to anyone. He taught us all to give give give.
This is why I donate blood.
I donate blood because, even though it hurts (a little) and takes a chunk of time out of my day, it’s nothing compared to the pain and loss of time experienced by the people who receive it. My slight discomfort is more than worth the extra cuddles, giggles and love gained by the families of those on the receiving end.
I donate blood because I can.
I donate blood because I am healthy.
I donate blood because it costs nothing and gives everything.
I could hate Cancer for taking my father-in-law away, and most days I do. Most days I’m filled with a black rage at that monster named Cancer. But today, as I sat in that chair at the Donor Centre, I chose to love those people who gave us the gift of their blood, instead. They thought they were donating blood. They were wrong. They donated memories to my family. They donated smiles and the kind of laughter that renders you breathless to my children. They donated time for us to hold hands and say ‘I love you’.
I wish I could say thank you for the precious hand-holding time we were given.
My father-in-law lost his fight 6 months ago and the world lost a great deal of its sparkle. By living with a generous heart and giving what I can, whenever I can, I’m trying to bring that sparkle back.
Today, as I sat in that chair, I honored a man who quietly went about making the world a better place. A man with a wicked sense of humor and a mischievous spirit. A man who called me his daughter and who would have (and often did) moved mountains for me. A man whose heart was so generous and bottomless that he gave unhesitatingly until the day he died.
The world is a joyful place.
Today, I ask you to please perform a random act of kindness, in honor of him. Make someone smile. Help add some sparkle to the world.Then write to me about it, so we can all celebrate the act of giving, the joy of generosity and the fact that, despite hideous things like Cancer, the world is a joyful place.
If you’re in Australia and want to donate, click here.
If you’re in America and want to donate, click here.
If you’re in the UK and want to donate, click here.
Beautifully written! THANK YOU for this… I lost my Mother-in-law 3 months ago to cancer. She sounds exactly like your Father-in-law. I love your perspective
I am so sorry for your loss, Lisa. It’s such a horrific illness and it is devastating to watch someone lose the battle. I hope I gave you some measure of comfort that for the evil that Cancer is, there is a more powerful good. Wishing you strength and lots of love.
When you speak about Neil, Mich, I just think of my gramps and the amount he gave. Like I said when I reposted your post to my profile, I was inspired to give more in my life because of my gramps generous giving spirit.
Thank you Mich.
All of us should give something, I agree with you so much that I also wrote a post about giving a little while back.
Beautifully written, thank-you for the wake up call!
I haven’t given blood in a long time; I will find a place to donate today.
And I won’t say that I am sorry for your loss; I would rather say that I am happy for what you have gained.
Another great & ‘giving’ read from you… thank you! I’m sorry for your families’ great loss… Such a treasured Grandad – love his name! I so am thankful to people like you who donate blood… I wouldn’t be here if it wasn’t for the likes of you, following the birth of my boy 11+ years ago… I don’t think of his birth without an abundant flow of gratitude to the faceless person who helped me… I can’t give blood, but I do practice random acts of kindness every day, and today, without knowing about your post, my little 2 yr old and I walked along a busy street and greeted and smiled to the elderly people at the bus stops, and had little chats here and there; it’s not something that I would often take the time to do, but Jemimah was so engaging, and the looks on the peoples faces when she smiled at them were priceless… this may not seem like a big deal, but boy! it sure felt good… And I’d like to think others were made to feel good too.
Blessings! Naomi G
What a beautifully written and wonderful perspective on blood donation. Thank you!
I was deeply moved & nearly brought to tears when I read “I don’t donate blood…”. What a beautiful piece of work & wonderful tribute to Bumpa:) I feel your sorrow by way of experiencing similar losses of my own. And I am planning to donate blood the very next time the drive is in my area. Thank you for your story and inspiration. God bless.
Mishy,
I loved your blog post about your father-in-law. It was beautiful and moving. It reminded me of my grandpa – do you remember Grandpa Les? He was so special! And, he also had a heart of gold! I am so grateful for all the memories I have of him. I realize I cannot take our time for granted because Jenn and Adam never got to grow up with him! He was so courageous. He died of prostate cancer after fighting for several years. You may already know this, but Mandela came to visit him in the hospital on the day he died. He and a choir of those who obviously honored him – sang to him as he passed on to a better place. How I wish I could’ve been a witness to that! Gramps is always in my heart. There are special songs that I associate just to him. When I hear them I think of him fondly with tears in my eyes. But, somehow he always seems just a heartbeat away. I feel his Spirit and his eternal light.
Just wanted to share…
Love you,
Mandy
Mandy, I teared up when I read this and have re-read it now countless times. Les was one of the world’s great men – someone I had the privilege of knowing. In fact, before I left South Africa – whenever I went to the cemetery, I always went to his and Edie’s stones and paid respects. You come from great people – which explains a lot about YOU, my friend. Thanks for sharing this! (HUG)
In 2006, blood donors saved my then 8 year old daughter/brain tumor ninja warrior princess …24 times.
She is still fighting on, her new chemo doesn’t attack counts like the old ones did…but I am so grateful to those donors, I used to donate before I had kids, last time I tried they couldn’t get enough out (which is a ridiculous story but true), I really should try again, for my G and kids like her, and folks like your wonderful Father in law…
I am so sorry for your loss, and grateful for your generosity. Thank you.
Oh, Kristin, you have made me cry. I’m so sorry you and your daughter have have had to (and are still) fight the Cancer monster. My thoughts, prayers and all the love in the world are with you. THIS is why I continue to do this. Thank you for sharing your story. My sincere wishes go out to your little Ninja – may she kick Cancer’s butt good and proper. xoxo
Bravo! My husband works in blood banking (mostly platelets, plasma and red blood cells), and when I told him about your donations, he was extremely impressed. And to be honest, we’ve never thought of it this way. Sure, it saves lives. But I guess you never think about the people that surround that person you’re saving. Thank you for illuminating this issue!
Thank YOU Gina! I never thought about it that way either, until I lived it and experienced firsthand what we, as a family, got out of people’s donations. Your husband does amazing work and has my utmost respect.
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Hi Michelle! First, let me share that I am so sorry that you and your family lost a wonderful man, much too early in his life. Rest assured that his memory and generous spirit will live on through the acts of kindness performed by you, your husband, and children!! Second, good for you for donating blood. I used to donate, then I had a back experience several years ago – they had a hard time finding my veins, it took a long time for the blood to come out, and I felt kind of woozy afterwards – so I have not given since. But perhaps your blog post was the inspiration I needed to go back and give it another try!
I LOVE THIS!!! My father has always donated blood. I remember him running to the city to donate blood before friends and family members would have a surgery. Two weeks ago my father had (his second) open heart surgery and he ended up needing two blood transfusions. I am so grateful to have him here still and for my children to have their Grandpa that they love so much. During his hospital stay I kept thinking that I want to donate and this post is EXACTLY why I want to!!!
Also, thanks for linking up to thoughtful thursday! xo Sarah
Sarah, I hope your Dad is recovering well and will go on to give you and your children many MANY more years of beautiful memories. Thank you for allowing me to share on your beautiful blog!
Beautiful memories. Thank you for sharing. Reminds me to give back in any way we can. We all have something to give.