If you were an alien visiting the Earth and found yourself in a Western country this past week, you’d have learnt the following things about the People Of Earth:
ONE: Miley Cyrus is Very Important and has magic powers. With a few shakes of her rear (accompanied by an unnaturally long extension of her tongue), this young earthling can make poverty, murder and impending war d i s a p p e a r. Yep – anyone who witnessed Twerkgate was privy to the instantaneous vanishing of the murdered Syrian children, threats of WWIII and… well… anything of actual importance from world news. Poof!
TWO: Twerking is horrible and slutty. HOWEVER, women should be allowed to twerk to their hearts’ content because we own our bodies, so quit judging and back-off. ALTHOUGH, even though we shouldn’t Judge Miley (poor, poor, poor Miley, naive and expressing her rights) she really did behave like the sluttiest slutty slut from Sluttsville and she has scarred all of Earth’s children so shame on her. BUT, it wasn’t her fault, because she is just a kid being mismanaged. CONVERSELY, she is a grown-up twenty-year-old and is completely responsible, so bad bad bad Miley. BUT, she wasn’t alone – what about that old, married guy singing debasing lyrics and gyrating against BadSluttyMiley? REGARDLESS, blame Miley anyway and ignore his part in the act because different rules apply to him – taking us to alien observation #3.
THREE: The Human Male is allowed to freely debase himself and others in the media. The word ‘slut’ does not stick to him.
FOUR: Human beings are stupid.
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