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9 Things People Say to People with ADHD

Debunking ADHD Myths
 
Hi there! I have neglected you!
 
The past few weeks have been busy and overwhelming and when the overwhelm comes, I typically go hermit. I think its a fight or flight thing. It’s definitely an ADHD thing. This brain of mine, while capable of achieving incredible things, is also incapable of managing the mundane. Things like making sure there is enough toilet paper in the house and remembering to actually look at the to-do list I naively wrote on Sunday night, convinced that this time I’d actually look at it and cross things off.
 
If you know anyone with ADHD, you’ll know well their pure intentions to do things. Depending on your level of interaction with them, you’re likely to be frustrated by their constant earnest promises to follow through and their subsequent failure to deliver. I’ll let you in on a little known fact: the person you’re disappointed in is exponentially disappointed with herself. That person is so beyond frustrated by her own broken promises that self-flagellation has become her default. That person who has let you down again doesn’t trust herself anymore because of the countless times she’s been proven wrong and discovered that her memory has failed her again.
 
And then, someone tells her ADHD isn’t real.
 
Today I want to share with you 9 things people often say to people with ADHD and then I’ll addmy two cents.

ADHD Myth #1

ADHD Myths debunked.You’re right. Everyone does have “ADHD moments”. Everyone forgets things sometimes, everyone gets distracted now and again, we’ve all struggled to focus on boring tasks from time to time, we’ve all experienced walking into a room and forgetting why we’re there. Absolutely. These are all ADHD traits and there’s not a human alive that can’t relate to every single one.
 
But, and this is a big BUT, the difference between neurotypical people and ADDers is that people with ADD / ADHD experience all of these traits all of the time. Let me be clear – there is not a moment in our lives when we have a clear head and uninterrupted thoughts. There isn’t a day when we experience the peace of knowing exactly what we have to accomplish and know that we can do it.
 
Every conversation with other people is a fight to stay focused and quiet not only the outside distractions but also our own internal dialogue. It’s like attempting to hold a conversation in the middle of a kindergarten classroom – every thought is loud and demanding immediate attention. Our brains are noisy and chaotic. Every time we attempt to remember what we are supposed to be doing, another mental crisis jumps the queue and BAM, we’re fighting distraction. This is not a ‘sometimes’ thing. It is perpetual. Day and night. (Hello, insomnia!) It’s why we drive you insane with our interrupting and talk at the speed of a running-late bullet train. We are trying to expel the thoughts from our heads to make space to be able to listen to you.

ADHD Myth #2:

ADHD Myths debunked.Spend the day in our shoes. No, scrap that – spend a day in our heads and then say that again with a straight face. The drug companies that make ADHD / ADD medication are most definitely making money off people diagnosed with ADHD / ADD, no argument on that front. So are the drug companies that sell insulin to Diabetics and Viagra to people with Erectile Dysfunction. As are the companies that sell glasses to people with Vision Impairment and hearing aids to the Hearing Impaired. ADHD / ADD is no less real than Diabetes, Erectile Dysfunction or Vision and Hearing Impairment.
 
Would you tell a Diabetic to try harder to manage his diet because his Diabetes isn’t real and his sugar crashes are simply a result of his own laziness and lack of effort to manage his own sugar intake? After all, you also have sugar crashes from time to time so really, we’re all a little Diabetic, if you think about it.
 
No? Because that’s ridiculous and insulting, right? It would be an insensitive and uneducated stance, wouldn’t it? It would, in fact, make you look like an ass of epic proportions and you’d never think of thinking it, never mind saying it.
 
Now, try to imagine the frustration that we ADDers feel when we hear this statement, again and again, delivered with a smug expression and a truckload of judgement. Read the rest of this entry

Insensitive Things That People Say When You Have an Invisible Condition

       

ADHD Depression Fibromyalgia Colitis

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Learning to tame stoned ducks.

With ADHD, ducks do not stay in rows. As an adult ADHD sufferer with severe organizational and time management issues (and by severe, I mean crippling, suffocating, chaos-causing issues), I have found myself becoming increasingly overwhelmed by the volume of housework, kids’ school organizing and personal to-dos in the past few months. In true ADHD style, I find myself dealing with a zillion unrelated to-dos by running around in circles, flapping my arms and yelling at everyone. Here’s a heads up: this method does not work. Read the rest of this entry

I’m being bullied.

There’s this girl I know. She hates me. She watches my life with avid fascination…every little thing I do. Mostly, I’m able to avoid her, but every now and again, she finds me. Yesterday, I was having one of ‘those’ days. You know the kind – when life seems too much and nothing goes according to plan? I was feeling like a failure because other people seem to manage the juggle so well and I was just.not.managing. Well, I bumped into The Girl. She looked at me and smirked. She looked at my disheveled appearance and her satisfaction was palpable. Without a care in the world, she said, “You’re pathetic. Your husband deserves better. Your kids deserve better. You are a failure, Michelle.” Just like that. Read the rest of this entry