If the mainstream media was in charge of bringing up my kids, they’d learn these lessons:
1. If you’re not skinny, you’re a failure. Whenever you eat anything that isn’t a lettuce leaf, you must feel guilty. You might want to consider visiting a pro-ana site for some thinspiration. In fact, even if you’re a multiple gold-medal winning Olympian, you’re going to be judged on your weight alone, so you’d better get used to being permanently starving or permanently hating yourself. Alternatively, you can become a comedienne.