After 21 months of pregnancy (collectively…although each one did feel approximately that long), haemorrhoids, nausea, varicose veins, false labour (doesn’t get more fun than that), real labour (a whole other post), cracked nipples, repeated public boob exposures and The Battle With The Scale, there is a bright and magnificent light. There is! It makes all the hard work and humiliation worth it. I present to you Kiddy Quips.
You see, those sweet-smelling, exhausting and delicious babies one day start talking. And their perspective on the world is presented to you daily in delicious little conversational nuggets. Even on those days when they have well and truly beaten you, when the day ends and you’re covered in bodily fluids and bits of congealed breakfast – even on those days, just one of these nuggets has the magical power of wiping the slate clean. Today, I will share with you a sampling of my favourite quips gathered over the 400 years (give or take) I have been mum to Miss M, Little Man and Baby G.
Miss M’s nose was running, so she came to me and said: “Mum, can I have a tissue because my nose is sweating”
Miss M: Mom, what’s a vegetarian?
Me: Someone that eats vegetables.
Miss M: Oh, so we are vegetarians because we eat vegetables.
Me: No – we eat vegetables AND meat. There’s a different name for what we are.
Miss M: I know! We’re Australians!