Rude words and why Baby G thinks we can’t say them at school.
Last week, my big kids each had a friend over to play. Baby G was feeling left out because the big girls wanted alone time sans little sister, so I suggested she go play with the boys, who are good-natured and would probably include her.
She happily skipped off to Little Man’s room and I got busy cooking dinner, enjoying this peaceful moment to myself and patting myself on the back for engineering it. After a while, I realised she hadn’t come back so I went to check up on her and the boys. I peeped around the doorway to Little Man’s bedroom and saw him and his little mate jumping of the bed and shouting rude words at the top of their lungs (as 8 year old boys do) followed by raucous laughter. Baby G, of course, was howling with laughter and joining in.
These words weren’t anything on the BAD list and she was already there, so I decided to quietly tiptoe away and allow them this little moment of joy, uninterrupted by their control-freak mother.
As I continued to prepare dinner, I congratulated myself on easing the tight reins of control and allowing them their space to express themselves. I smiled inwardly as I thought about the great conversation we’d have later about when and where certain words are appropriate. I was going to have one of those afternoon television-worthy moments of parental perfection. Angels were singing…
Five more minutes went by and a giggling Baby G bounded into the kitchen, grinning manically. Giggling wildly, she threw herself dramatically on the floor, grabbed her crotch and screeched (with the delight only a four year old who has just learned her first rude word can), “Oh, my nuts!”
I just about collapsed, but managed (no idea how) to keep my composure…
When she stopped shrieking with mirth I told her that, funny as that was, she must NOT say that at school. (Visions of those perfect mums coming to me and yelling because my child taught their kids rude words flooded my brain.)
How was I going to get her not to say this at school? I tried to explain that “Oh, my nuts!” is a boy kind of thing to say. She asked why but I really didn’t want to explain what nuts are because, well, TMI and next thing she is educating the whole kindergarten and we have the irate mummy problem again…
To ensure that my four year old princess will never repeat this gem at school, I then said, “Even Little Man isn’t allowed to say that at school.”
At this explanation, she nodded sagely, with an expression that indicated that she totally understood my reasoning. She then said, as if in absolute agreement, “Yes, Mum. I KNOW why he can’t say OH MY NUTS at school.”
So, I asked her why…
and she said…
wait for it…..
“It’s because of Jacob.”
I began to howl with laughter.
Jacob is Little Man’s best friend…..
who is ALLERGIC TO NUTS.
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